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Clips from Community (2009) - Course Listing Unavailable (S03E03)

I was hoping you'd say that, because... I came prepared.

"I was hoping you'd say that, because... I came prepared."

Community (2009)

You seemed smarter than me when I met you.

"You seemed smarter than me when I met you."

Community (2009)

Thank you.

"Thank you."

Community (2009)

For the purposes of this exercise,

"For the purposes of this exercise,"

Community (2009)

I am Star-Burns.

"I am Star-Burns."

Community (2009)

Come on, guys, you can ask me anything.

"Come on, guys, you can ask me anything."

Community (2009)

What's heaven like?

"What's heaven like?"

Community (2009)

Uh, I don't know. Glittery.

"Uh, I don't know. Glittery."

Community (2009)

- Ask me something else. - Have you seen Tim Russert?

"- Ask me something else. - Have you seen Tim Russert?"

Community (2009)

Guys, you are doing this wrong. Ask me something personal.

"Guys, you are doing this wrong. Ask me something personal."

Community (2009)

Star-Burns, I didn't know you that well,

"Star-Burns, I didn't know you that well,"

Community (2009)

but why did you smell exactly like salami?

"but why did you smell exactly like salami?"

Community (2009)

- Abed. - I got one. Where's my comb?

"- Abed. - I got one. Where's my comb?"

Community (2009)

Why did you tape that switchblade to your ankle?

"Why did you tape that switchblade to your ankle?"

Community (2009)

Why did you always poop with the stall door open?

"Why did you always poop with the stall door open?"

Community (2009)

Is it true you made out with Britta?

"Is it true you made out with Britta?"

Community (2009)

It was Fat Neil's black light party.

"It was Fat Neil's black light party."

Community (2009)

Vicki saw you. If that's true...

"Vicki saw you. If that's true..."

Community (2009)

if... maybe it was because she was really drunk

"if... maybe it was because she was really drunk"

Community (2009)

and she had just found out

"and she had just found out"

Community (2009)

that her first boyfriend was getting married.

"that her first boyfriend was getting married."

Community (2009)

Ow!

"Ow!"

Community (2009)

Okay, grief counseling is growing on me.

"Okay, grief counseling is growing on me."

Community (2009)

♪ Come on, I'm Dean and my hands are so clean ♪

"♪ Come on, I'm Dean and my hands are so clean ♪"

Community (2009)

♪ at this moment I am stapling ♪

"♪ at this moment I am stapling ♪"

Community (2009)

- Ben, how's it "deaning"? - Can't "com-Chang."

"- Ben, how's it "deaning"? - Can't "com-Chang.""

Community (2009)

- Just needed you to sign this. - Okay.

"- Just needed you to sign this. - Okay."

Community (2009)

Let's just... give this a little look-a-roo.

"Let's just... give this a little look-a-roo."

Community (2009)

"Request for increased security."

""Request for increased security.""

Community (2009)

"Cool new uniforms." I like that.

""Cool new uniforms." I like that."

Community (2009)

"Power to enact martial law," not so much.

""Power to enact martial law," not so much."

Community (2009)

"Indefinite detention, pepper spray,

""Indefinite detention, pepper spray,"

Community (2009)

involuntary cavity searches... no soft-serve"?

"involuntary cavity searches... no soft-serve"?"

Community (2009)

All liquids and gels must be in sealed bottles

"All liquids and gels must be in sealed bottles"

Community (2009)

no larger than 3 ounces.

"no larger than 3 ounces."

Community (2009)

I'm sorry, Chang, this stuff is too extreme.

"I'm sorry, Chang, this stuff is too extreme."

Community (2009)

This is a community college, not an inner-city High School.

"This is a community college, not an inner-city High School."

Community (2009)

It's a community college where a degenerate

"It's a community college where a degenerate"

Community (2009)

just blew himself up with stolen lab equipment.

"just blew himself up with stolen lab equipment."

Community (2009)

inside the stolen lab equipment that blew him up.

"inside the stolen lab equipment that blew him up."

Community (2009)

That's the problem with you civilian suits.

"That's the problem with you civilian suits."

Community (2009)

You want the results, but you don't want to know

"You want the results, but you don't want to know"

Community (2009)

Well, I'll tell you how the sausage gets made.

"Well, I'll tell you how the sausage gets made."

Community (2009)

that looks like a cross between a dude's dong and a poop.

"that looks like a cross between a dude's dong and a poop."

Community (2009)

I don't know how that helps me, but please leave.

"I don't know how that helps me, but please leave."

Community (2009)

I doubt it.

"I doubt it."

Community (2009)

This just came for you.

"This just came for you."

Community (2009)

Great.

"Great."

Community (2009)

I have to give more bad news to Jeff and his study group.

"I have to give more bad news to Jeff and his study group."

Community (2009)

Hold my calls, I have to pick an outfit.

"Hold my calls, I have to pick an outfit."

Community (2009)

Who wants to dance?

"Who wants to dance?"

Community (2009)

Nice work, everyone.

"Nice work, everyone."

Community (2009)

Now think about that last little puppy in that basket

"Now think about that last little puppy in that basket"

Community (2009)

out of all those puppies.

"out of all those puppies."

Community (2009)

And now... he's catching fire too.

"And now... he's catching fire too."

Community (2009)

Britta! Why are you making us feel these things?

"Britta! Why are you making us feel these things?"

Community (2009)

We need to bring our emotions to the surface

"We need to bring our emotions to the surface"

Community (2009)

and explore them.

"and explore them."

Community (2009)

Does it always have to be puppies though?

"Does it always have to be puppies though?"

Community (2009)

Oh, come on, everybody.

"Oh, come on, everybody."

Community (2009)

This is a completely unnecessary process.

"This is a completely unnecessary process."

Community (2009)

What Jeff's doing right now is called denial

"What Jeff's doing right now is called denial"

Community (2009)

and it is the first of five stages of grief

"and it is the first of five stages of grief"

Community (2009)

that ends with acceptance.

"that ends with acceptance."

Community (2009)

Maybe we don't need grief counseling.

"Maybe we don't need grief counseling."

Community (2009)

But seems like the least we could do

"But seems like the least we could do"

Community (2009)

is have a memorial or something.

"is have a memorial or something."

Community (2009)

Oh, yes, we could have a little service

"Oh, yes, we could have a little service"

Community (2009)

and I could bring some of my brownies

"and I could bring some of my brownies"

Community (2009)

and I guess someone should sing Ave Maria.

"and I guess someone should sing Ave Maria."

Community (2009)

Sure, why not drag it out for weeks?

"Sure, why not drag it out for weeks?"

Community (2009)

Why not wallow for the rest of our lives

"Why not wallow for the rest of our lives"

Community (2009)

and never get anything done?

"and never get anything done?"

Community (2009)

Or we could just admit the simple fact that one day,

"Or we could just admit the simple fact that one day,"

Community (2009)

something is in your life and one day, it's not.

"something is in your life and one day, it's not."

Community (2009)

Dean-jour, mes amis!

"Dean-jour, mes amis!"

Community (2009)

Unfortunately, due to the whole

"Unfortunately, due to the whole"

Community (2009)

Star-Burns meth lab explosion,

"Star-Burns meth lab explosion,"

Community (2009)

Professor Kane has resigned,

"Professor Kane has resigned,"

Community (2009)

and you biology class has been can-can-cancelled.

"and you biology class has been can-can-cancelled."

Community (2009)

Your grade is now an incomplete.

"Your grade is now an incomplete."

Community (2009)

You'll have to make up the credit in the summer.

"You'll have to make up the credit in the summer."

Community (2009)

My summer is gone?

"My summer is gone?"

Community (2009)

No.

"No."

Community (2009)

No!

"No!"

Community (2009)

Well, I had a little

"Well, I had a little"

Community (2009)

rockette kick-line thing planned, but...

"rockette kick-line thing planned, but..."

Community (2009)

♪ Ave ♪

"♪ Ave ♪"

Community (2009)

♪ Mariii... ♪

"♪ Mariii... ♪"

Community (2009)

♪ iaaa ♪

"♪ iaaa ♪"

Community (2009)

Okay.

"Okay."

Community (2009)

That was Garrett singing, um, Ave Maria?

"That was Garrett singing, um, Ave Maria?"

Community (2009)

Uh, now, Shirley, I understand you wanted

"Uh, now, Shirley, I understand you wanted"

Community (2009)

Okay, then let's move on to the eulogies.

"Okay, then let's move on to the eulogies."

Community (2009)

in the memory of Star-Burns?

"in the memory of Star-Burns?"

Community (2009)

Oh... Because his sideburns were shaped like stars.

"Oh... Because his sideburns were shaped like stars."

Community (2009)

I just got it. I just got that.

"I just got it. I just got that."

Community (2009)

Anything at all.

"Anything at all."

Community (2009)

This is a safe place to say

"This is a safe place to say"

Community (2009)

- what you're feeling. - I'll say something.

"- what you're feeling. - I'll say something."

Community (2009)

Oh, oh.

"Oh, oh."

Community (2009)

After learning about Star-Burns' death,

"After learning about Star-Burns' death,"

Community (2009)

I personally went through the stages of grief

"I personally went through the stages of grief"

Community (2009)

at the final one... acceptance.

"at the final one... acceptance."

Community (2009)

This fallujah of higher learning...

"This fallujah of higher learning..."

Community (2009)

is a prison from which none of us will ever escape.

"is a prison from which none of us will ever escape."

Community (2009)

Okay, Jeffrey, now we're mixing metaphors here...

"Okay, Jeffrey, now we're mixing metaphors here..."

Community (2009)

And it turns out...

"And it turns out..."

Community (2009)

that Star-Burns, this man in this urn,

"that Star-Burns, this man in this urn,"

Community (2009)

was a hero to us the whole time because he did the one thing

"was a hero to us the whole time because he did the one thing"

Community (2009)

And then he exploded.

"And then he exploded."

Community (2009)

Because Greendale hates its students.

"Because Greendale hates its students."

Community (2009)

No. No.

"No. No."

Community (2009)

It sucks the lives from their bodies

"It sucks the lives from their bodies"

Community (2009)

and forces their desiccated husks

"and forces their desiccated husks"

Community (2009)

to attend summer school.

"to attend summer school."

Community (2009)

Okay, Jeffrey, this is a funeral.

"Okay, Jeffrey, this is a funeral."

Community (2009)

Let's keep it light.

"Let's keep it light."

Community (2009)

Annie, Annie, maybe you could say

"Annie, Annie, maybe you could say"

Community (2009)

something nice about Star-Burns.

"something nice about Star-Burns."

Community (2009)

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