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Clips from King of the Hill - I Don't Want to Wait ... (S05E05)

"I know your birthday's not for another few days..."
King of the Hill
"He's what, nine? Ten?"
King of the Hill
"I'll be 13 next week."
King of the Hill
"I got so many fancy pen-and-pencil sets, I was giving them away for years."
King of the Hill
"- A coffin? - Yep."
King of the Hill
"But, well, long story short, I got the bug."
King of the Hill
"That's my best friend, Joseph. He won't be 13 for a few months."
King of the Hill
"I don't know if it's true. It's just what I heard."
King of the Hill
"- What can I bring? - Your appetite and your wife."
King of the Hill
"And some potato salad if she brings her appetite."
King of the Hill
"like Garry did with me."
King of the Hill
"I don't know."
King of the Hill
"No. I'll take the other menu like my young friend."
King of the Hill
"Bobby, order off the kid's menu while you still can. it's cheaper."
King of the Hill
"- Let me guess. Beer. - Who?"
King of the Hill
"Can you believe it? Hank, can you?"
King of the Hill
"- Peggy, can you believe it? - Well, I have to, Dale."
King of the Hill
"- Chicken. - Okay."
King of the Hill
"Well, how's my little birthday man?"
King of the Hill
"And what you need is a professional disc jockey."
King of the Hill
"I was kind of hoping that you and Dad would stay in the garage during the party."
King of the Hill
"All right."
King of the Hill
"Hey, Joseph."
King of the Hill
"My mom said I could have a six-foot sub for my party."
King of the Hill
"And he was all:"
King of the Hill
"What's with that? He went to kids' camp."
King of the Hill
"You had better check the map, honey!"
King of the Hill
"Because I am living in downtown there!"
King of the Hill
"There's gonna be a lot of stuff you'll like there."
King of the Hill
"No, I don't think so."
King of the Hill
"What is so funny, Mr. Five-Feet-Ten-inches with your fancy armpit hair?"
King of the Hill
"I'm guessing."
King of the Hill
"Joseph, what's going on?"
King of the Hill
"I've got stretch marks on my shoulders and zits on my back."
King of the Hill
"I can't even ride my own bike anymore!"
King of the Hill
"And she's always been really tall."
King of the Hill
"It's only a matter of time before Joseph's hormonal rage..."
King of the Hill
"Anyhoo, are you gonna button-tuck the folds?"
King of the Hill
"Yeah, man. You know, needle got a lot of better ways..."
King of the Hill
"Hey, Alexis. Hi, Stacy."
King of the Hill
"for every one of his birthdays."
King of the Hill
"Now look at me."
King of the Hill
"Banished to the garage while Bobby's party goes on without me..."
King of the Hill
"What do you say you and me just cut loose?"
King of the Hill
"And I ordered pizza."
King of the Hill
"Well, it better be. it's silk stuffed with Canadian goose down."
King of the Hill
"Mine's just fiberfill left over from when we insulated the attic."
King of the Hill
"Sorry. I just... Sorry."
King of the Hill
"I have a new soap."
King of the Hill
"You're such a creep!"
King of the Hill
"Oops."
King of the Hill
"Connie, it's for you."
King of the Hill
"I'm such a... Oh, man!"
King of the Hill
"You can't be any worse than Bobby."
King of the Hill
"So, see you. Bye."
King of the Hill
"What the hell?"
King of the Hill
"- What were you doing, Connie? - I don't know. It just..."
King of the Hill
"I think you'd better calm down."
King of the Hill
"That little hillbilly pack quite a wallop."
King of the Hill
"What the..."
King of the Hill
"what with acne and whatnot."
King of the Hill
"I'm sure they're fine. Pass the chips."
King of the Hill
"Hey, Joseph. How's the weather up there?"
King of the Hill
"What are you doing here?"
King of the Hill
"I came to apologize and make out with tongues."
King of the Hill
"Oh, wait. Yes, I do."
King of the Hill
"Connie, wait!"
King of the Hill
"What are you doing with my woman?"
King of the Hill
"- I'm not your property! - Leave us alone."
King of the Hill
"DALE: Oh, no!"
King of the Hill
"- I don't know, Dale. - Was it you?"
King of the Hill
"Let me... I wanna..."
King of the Hill
"Bobby, did you see who did this?"
King of the Hill
"- Yep. Teenagers. - Teenagers."
King of the Hill
"But don't leave town."
King of the Hill
"In your face, boy!"
King of the Hill
"DALE: Jennifer, we're fantastic!"
King of the Hill
"Bobby, honey, don't worry."
King of the Hill
"Let's just get this over with."
King of the Hill
"What's the matter? Aren't you excited to fly to Arizona?"
King of the Hill
"[Singing] This old man came rolling home"
King of the Hill
"This is my place, Bobby. Home sweet home."
King of the Hill
"Building 42, living space K, in case we get separated."
King of the Hill
"but I'm no good at keeping secrets."
King of the Hill
"Happy birthday."
King of the Hill
"BOBBY: A policeman's uniform."
King of the Hill
""Ages seven and up.""
King of the Hill
"Tillie, Bobby isn't seven years old."
King of the Hill
"Thirteen? You know, in my religion..."
King of the Hill
"13 is your official passage into manhood."
King of the Hill
"It's called a bar mitzvah or "big party.""
King of the Hill
"- Is that an Arizona thing? - Arizona, New York, Miami."
King of the Hill
"Pen-and-pencil set?"
King of the Hill
"That is very manly. Can I get a bar mitzvah?"
King of the Hill
"I'm willing to celebrate Hanukkah."
King of the Hill
"Trust me, it's more work than you're gonna wanna put in."
King of the Hill
"I'll tell you what. Tomorrow, you spend the day with me..."
King of the Hill
"and I'll show you how a man enjoys Arizona."
King of the Hill
"By the time you leave here, you'll have hair on your kishkas."
King of the Hill
"What you making, Hank?"
King of the Hill
"Hey, Bill. I'm making a coffin."
King of the Hill
"Looks nice."
King of the Hill
"And for the next week, because you're so old..."
King of the Hill
"- it's your bachelor pad. - My own pad."
King of the Hill
"I wish my girlfriend was here."
King of the Hill
"She really likes to sit up."
King of the Hill
"- So you got yourself a girlfriend? - Yeah. She's on the left."
King of the Hill
"- She's a little slip of a thing. - She's got her period already."
King of the Hill
"Give it 50 years, it'll go away."
King of the Hill
"Who's the guv?"
King of the Hill
"Well, feel free to give your little friend a call."
King of the Hill
"I'll give you some privacy."
King of the Hill
"I almost forgot. Use my cart."
King of the Hill
"Count Dracula has thousands of coffins."
King of the Hill
"They say he sleeps in a different coffin every night."
King of the Hill
"It sounds true."
King of the Hill
"No, it sounds made-up. I don't know."
King of the Hill
"Okay. That should do it."
King of the Hill
"Honey, do you want butter beans or lima beans?"
King of the Hill
"Are you building a coffin?"
King of the Hill
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