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Clips from The Muppet Show (1976) - Phyllis Diller (S01E01)

"Huh? What?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"He's always blowing his own horn."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Huh."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Wasn't that garlic you had for dinner hot?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(♪ "Lazybones" by Johnny Mercer and Hoagy Carmichael)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Sleeping in the sun"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ How you expect to get your day's work done?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Sleeping in the noonday sun"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Lazybones"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Sleeping in the shade"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ How you expect to get your cornmeal made?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Mmm."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ How you expect to make"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ A dime that way?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ You're gonna never make a dime that way"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Phyllis Diller. Well, hello. Hey, hey, hey, hey."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Kermit said I could chat with you because, well, we're both comedians, you know,"
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"and frankly, I think you are the funniest person alive."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Yeah. Thank you."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I was wondering if you could give me a few tips on comedy, hmm?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Why, that's so nice of you, Fozzie. Of course I'll give you a few tips."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Haaah-hah-ha! "Of course I'll give you a few tips." That's so funny!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Wait, wait. I love it."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Wait a minute. The first tip:"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Don't laugh before I tell the joke."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, this isn't gonna be easy."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"OK, OK, OK, OK, OK."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I'll tell you what we need, topics. Now, here's a topic."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Fang is so cheap, his idea of a deodorant"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"is to Scotch-tape a pine cone under each armpit."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"That's a husband joke."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Why? I don't have a husband."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Well, how about a wife? No, no wife."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Well, make one up. They don't care."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"What? But... I'm... I... I couldn't do that."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I couldn't lie to the audience. I-I..."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"They love me. I love them. I couldn't lie to the audience."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Now looky here. We've got to find you a topic."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"OK. Topic. OK. Uh-huh."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"OK. You must live somewhere."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Uh... Oh, yeah, I got this small apartment."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Terrific. Small-apartment joke."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"No? No mice?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"No. No, I got a mouse, but he's not hunchbacked."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"He's got the gout."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, wait, wait. I understand now. Wait. Oh, I see. OK. Here it goes."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"You got it? Here we go, yeah."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I live in an apartment so small, my mouse has the gout."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"That's funny. It's funny. It is funny."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, please laugh."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, please..."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Fozzie, baby. What?"
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"Oh, but why, Phyllis?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I'll tell you why. So in case you don't make it as a comedian,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"at least you can go into politics."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Haaa! Now, that's funny!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(♪ funk)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Hugga wugga"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Hugga wugga"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Hug hugga wug wugga"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Wuggy buggy mugga mugga"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Wug bug wah"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Hugga wugga"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Piggy wiggy?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Hugga wugga"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Hugga wugga"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Hugga wugga"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Hugga wugga"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Wug ♪ Wugga"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Buggy ♪ Buggy"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Mugga ♪ Mugga"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Wug wug wah (music stops)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ You are my sunshine"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ My only sunshine"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(music stops)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ You make me happy"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(explosion)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ When skies are gray"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(♪ funk)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ You'll never know, dear"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ How much I love you"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(explosion)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Hugga wugga"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(music stops)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ You are my sunshine"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ My only sun..."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(♪ funk)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Hugga wugga"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(music stops)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ You make me happy"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(♪ funk)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Hug hugga wug wugga"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ Wug wug wah"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(music stops)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(echoing) ♪ When skies are gray"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ You'll never know, dear"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(explosion)"
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"♪ Do not take my sunshine"
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"♪ Away ♪"
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"Why, you old fool."
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"What?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"I'm not your son, and my name's not Shine."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"♪ You make me happy when skies are gray ♪"
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"Well, this time, Miss Diller has given me some beauty hints."
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"Now everybody will notice the change."
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"Hilda, Hilda, it is great. The change is wonderful."
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"Oh, you like it, then?"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"It's wonderful that you changed them."
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"This means all-out war!"
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"Dr. Bunsen Honeydew here at Muppet Labs,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"where the future is being made today."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Well, excitement is running high here at the labs,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"because today is the day we introduce our new line of exploding hats."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Ooh! Oh! Oh!"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"And, of course,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"for those who want the daring double-barreled effect..."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"(squeals)"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"Oh, whoopee. Well, there you have it."
The Muppet Show (1976)
"These are the perfect companions to the perennial favorite,"
The Muppet Show (1976)
"the Muppet self-destruct necktie."
The Muppet Show (1976)
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