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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Massage (S02E02)

"I don't know how I did it."
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"How did you do that? What did you summon?"
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"I don't know how I did it."
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"I'd go home and say, "Honey, I was getting a massage..."
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""and I took 12 pumps and I stopped 'cause I love you.""
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"- I will never ever tell her. - I would."
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"And if your wife ever finds out, you're a noble man, you made it stop."
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"She's not gonna find out, don't worry about it."
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"that psychic today."
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"Yeah."
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"- Could a psychic know something like that? - She knew hole in one."
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"You better stop her from going."
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"- Larry, good seeing you. - Good to see you, Mike."
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"Don't forget the CBS meeting."
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"CBS today, yeah, I'll see you there. Don't be late."
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"She's great, do you want her number?"
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"- Absolutely. - Good."
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"- Cheryl? - Yes, I'm up here!"
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"- Hi. - Hi."
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"- How was your massage? - Good."
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"Good. Guess what? I have made plans for us tonight."
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"- We're gonna celebrate your CBS deal. - It's not even-"
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"Listen, I have a limo that's gonna pick us up."
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"And then if we're feeling frisky..."
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"then we can stay all night, do whatever we want."
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"I saw that guy who manages the place, Rick Crane."
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"I ran into him on the street the other day and I didn't do a stop-and-chat."
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"He wanted to stop and talk, and I just kept walking..."
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"but I said hello, but it could be a little touchy."
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"Don't worry about it. I wouldn't worry about it."
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"- We probably won't even run into him. - We have the meeting with CBS today."
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"It's not a done deal or anything. I don't even know-"
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"Come on, it's as good as done, right?"
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"I'm actually running late. I got them."
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"- What? - Let's fool around."
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"Right now? Listen, I have an appointment."
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"No means no!"
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"God, no, save it for tonight!"
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"Larry, no. Listen, I have got to get going."
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"- You're gonna make me late. - I've got a lump."
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"Do you hear what I'm saying? I'm dying!"
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"and I immediately just thought it was superb."
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"And, Lar, hello?"
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"Hello? We're pitching."
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"Did she offer you coffee or water or something?"
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"She did. I don't want any, but perhaps you'd like an espresso?"
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"- We can make you a latte here. - I'm okay, thank you."
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"is that it's great..."
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"but everybody identifies me with Elaine."
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"And I was wearing the helmet, the goggles..."
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"the big, baggy clothes, covered in snow, blah, blah, blah..."
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"I see your husband Larry."
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"- Yeah, he getting a massage. - Right."
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"He's very happy."
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"Yeah, he having sex with her hand!"
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"So, that is an example, don't you think?"
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"- Like, when she was skiing. - No, that's just what I said."
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"No, I said that, so-"
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"Situations like that are gonna come up on the show."
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"- Just like that. - So, I'm thrilled that you're here."
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"- I'm a huge fan of both of you, obviously. - Thank you."
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"And I love your idea..."
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"and we would love to be in business with you."
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"Great, terrific, fantastic!"
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"Talk further about casting and further, you know."
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"We'll be in touch."
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"How did it go?"
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"It went well, I think..."
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"I think they really liked the show. I think..."
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"I think they want to do it."
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"Aren't you gonna ask me how my appointment went?"
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"Right, the psychic. How did it go?"
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"I know everything, Larry."
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"I know what happened."
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"What happened? What do you mean, "What happened"?"
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"What happened, what happened?"
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"What are you talking about, did something happen?"
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"- Yeah. - What happened?"
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"I'm not having an affair!"
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"She told you what? What did she tell you? That's insane!"
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"and a tattoo of a star."
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"- No. - Why would she make up a story like that?"
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"I don't know why she would. Maybe she's an anti-Semite."
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"I'm sure there's some Korean anti-Semites."
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"Her name is Kim."
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"This is not the point."
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"The point is that she told me this whole thing about you having an affair."
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"- She's wrong. - She seemed very sure of it."
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"ever, ever."
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"I would imagine I would."
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"Then how do I know that this just isn't a lie?"
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"Because if I just told you the truth about that..."
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"it means that I'm just a truthful person who would tell you the truth about anything."
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"No affair, sorry."
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"- Promise. - Who's gonna have an affair with me?"
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"I'm not a cool guy. You gotta be cool to do that."
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"- That's true. - I couldn't do that."
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"I know."
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"Seriously."
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"I know, because I had this whole night planned for us-"
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"We'll still have a great night. Come on, I want to, we're gonna celebrate."
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"Come on, don't listen to this nonsense."
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"- Thank you. - You're very welcome."
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"So what are you gonna do now?"
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"- I'll be in the car. - You're waiting in the car?"
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"I'll be waiting in the car. I'll wait for you."
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"- Okay, we'll be a couple of hours, I guess. - That's great."
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"- All right? - That's fine, that's how it works."
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"- You'll be all right here? - I'll be fine."
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"- 'Cause we're celebrating. - I know, but we could've got a town car."
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"But that doesn't say we're celebrating."
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"- I'm not gonna wait for this. - Just wait your turn."
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"I'm joking, what's the matter with you? I'm gonna push them out of the way."
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"- You don't know sometimes. - Good evening."
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"- Hi, so nice to see you. - So glad you could join us."
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"- A little chilly in here. - Yeah, isn't it?"
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"Have you been catching on what's going on here?"
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"- What's going on here? - With this guy, what's going on?"
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"It's not even subtle, it's ridiculous. Thank you."
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""Hello, how you doing?" "How are you?" "Good.""
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