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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Massage (S02E02)

"I just don't feel jazzed about it..."
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"and I've kind of had it."
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"So let's just walk away from this."
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"It's just too much of a headache and I'm utterly exhausted, okay?"
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"It's such a great idea. It's a great idea."
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"No, I know, Jeff, I know it's a great idea. That's not what the issue is."
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"The problem, quite honestly, has been you, Larry."
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"Yeah."
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"I mean, it's just been a fiasco from start to finish."
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"It just seems that trouble seems to be following you."
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"He's a victim of circumstance."
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"and, you know... Lar, come on."
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"I don't know what to say, I'm sorry that you feel that way."
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"- It's a shame, because everyone loves it. - Yeah, everyone loves it."
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"If we were to continue, where would we even go at this point?"
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"Where would we even go?"
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"What are our choices here, CBS?"
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"- CBS. - Fox?"
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"- No, not Fox, I don't like their politics. - CBS is where I'd like to go with it."
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"- What do you say? Come on, we'll do CBS- - It's just that it's tiring. This has been tiring."
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"He's gonna do it all from now on. He will do it all."
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"At the next meeting, you don't even have to say a word."
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"- I'll pitch the whole show, okay? - Really?"
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"You don't even have to come and I'll sell it."
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"- You are gonna do all of it? - I will do the whole thing."
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"Come on, one more shot."
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"CBS."
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"- Did you? - Yeah."
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"They needed reassurance, that's completely what it was."
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"- Don't stare, come on. - Oh, my God, look at that."
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""Scarlet-letter punishment"?"
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"- Poor guy. - Yeah."
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"- Larry! - Rick, how you doing?"
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"- Good! - Good."
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"You know that guy?"
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"Why didn't you say hello to him? You know him."
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"He wanted to do a stop-and-chat. I didn't want to do a stop-and-chat."
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""Stop-and-chat?" Where do you come up with these things?"
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""Hi, how are you? Nice to see you. Take care, bye.""
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"No, it's more than that. For him, all I need to do is say hello-"
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"That was kind of rude."
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"You always have rules and phrasings, "stop-and-chat.""
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"Larry, would you like to help us stuff some envelopes?"
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"- No. - Really?"
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"Guess who I'm going to see."
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"Kim nails or Kim psychic?"
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"- Kim psychic. - What?"
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"and finally she said that somebody cancelled their appointment."
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"Last time, she was dead on."
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"She's great. Yeah."
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"She told Cheryl that I was gonna get a hole in one in golf..."
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"That's amazing, she's almost magical."
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"She also told Cheryl I was gonna have a bad time in Hawaii..."
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"- which I did, but, you know... - But that wasn't so..."
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"Only you could have a bad time in Hawaii."
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"Yeah, anybody could've predicted that."
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"And she said that one of my friends was gonna get pregnant, Carrie..."
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"and she's gonna have a baby, and they're so happy."
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"- It's unbelievable. How weird is that? - She's amazing. She's spooky."
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"Stuff that's bad, she doesn't hold back. She'll tell you. Yeah."
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"Who's gonna pay to hear a bunch of bad shit?"
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"Nobody want to hear that."
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"Do you believe this? What the hell are they doing?"
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"Putt it."
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"Every hole..."
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"they line up putts, from the front, from the back."
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"They walk around."
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"Are they playing for thousands of dollars? Come on."
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"- We're fine. - We're fine?"
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"- Enjoy yourself. - I can't enjoy myself."
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"They can't feel your tension, okay?"
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"You're just all wired up."
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"You know what? I got a masseuse."
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"This weekend you're gonna see her, my treat."
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"You're just all tense."
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"You need to relax, 'cause golf doesn't relax you."
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"How can you relax if these guys take a year like this?"
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"So, my treat."
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"Sorry about this, they're taking a year up there."
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"- I'm telling you- - All right, fine, I'll get it."
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"Finally, they're done."
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"- Right there, what's that? - Yeah, that's a bad spot."
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"Yeah, let's try to breathe through it, okay, together?"
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"You know, sometimes, the body has a memory..."
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"My mother did throw me against a brick wall..."
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"when I was an infant. Maybe that had-"
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"And have you ever talked to her about this, maybe?"
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"- She's okay with that? - Yeah, she said I was a little prick."
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"- How's your chi? - It's good, it's delicious chi."
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"Would you like me to finish you off?"
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"Okay."
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"Hot."
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"Stop."
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"- Stop. - Stop?"
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"Stop."
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"Are you okay?"
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"I'm just saying if he gets Sarah Jessica Parker..."
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"to do a guest shot on our show, it would be great."
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"- Mike. - How are you, man?"
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"- Good to see you. - Absolutely."
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"- Absolutely. What's going on? - Is this-"
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"- What's going on? - What's going on?"
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"What's going on? What in the God's name is wrong with you?"
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"- You're nuts. - You want me to wait outside?"
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"No, I don't want you to wait outside. I want you to hear this, okay?"
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"and, you know, after 45 minutes, I'm on my back..."
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"she says, "Do you want me to finish you off?""
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"And I go, "Okay.""
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"I think she'll work more on my neck and that'll be it!"
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"Then she puts her hand under the sheets and starts pumping away."
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"Wait a minute, are you messing around with me?"
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"who wants to give him a happy ending."
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"- That happened on your show? - You don't watch my show?"
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"- You don't? - No."
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"- You don't watch it, why do you care? - I'm just making conversation."
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"That's why I'm not throwing it back your way."
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"- Did you enjoy it? - I stopped it."
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"What do you mean? Who stops a whack-off?"
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"- I stopped it after 12 pumps. - No wonder you're still uptight."
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"You either do zero pumps or a thousand pumps."
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