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Clips from Curb Your Enthusiasm - The Massage (S02E02)

"I can't believe you're saying this."
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"Okay, it's his not being a victim of circumstance, guys..."
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"This has been a joke, it's been too much."
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"Just divorce yourself from the whole thing until there's a script in front of you, okay?"
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"- The whole pitch. - Yeah, the whole pitch."
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"Oh, my God, all right, CBS."
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"They needed reassurance, I think, right?"
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"I just read about that in the paper. It's called "scarlet-letter punishment.""
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"He works at the restaurant, Moho, in your hotel."
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"The W Hotel."
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"He wanted to stop and chat with me and I don't know him that well."
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"That was not rude. I don't have to do a stop-and-chat."
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"- Surprise, surprise. - That shocks me."
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"- Who? - Kim."
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"Yeah, to Kim. I kept calling..."
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"and I got a hole in one."
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"and she even said the name and she's pregnant..."
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"You know what I like about her?"
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"- I know. - I've got a five-hour round here."
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"You're right."
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"No problem, don't worry about it."
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"- Is that better? - No, not really."
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"And do you think this might relate to anything that may have happened to you?"
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"- Really? - Yeah."
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"Yeah."
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"How are you feeling?"
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"- All right. - Yeah?"
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"Good to see you."
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"I don't know what the hell she's talking about!"
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"No, I didn't know what she was talking about."
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"Is this a gag? 'Cause my character goes to a masseuse..."
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"- I put my foot in my mouth, all right? - I'm sorry, how's the show going?"
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"If I stopped at 12 pumps, I would tell my wife."
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"All right."
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"Oh, my God."
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"She's got an appointment with..."
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"- The hole-in-one psychic? - I told you about that?"
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"The psychic told his wife he would hit a hole in one, and he did."
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"Why didn't you stop?"
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"It's too awkward and horrible to do those stop-and-chats."
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"- All right, I will see you later. - Honey, I got a better idea."
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"Forget the psychic. Let's fool around."
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"It took me a long time to get this. No, not right now!"
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"I'm afraid she's gonna tell you about it!"
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"And that's the name of the show: Aren't you Evelyn?"
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"I like the edge of it because it's funny, but it's a little quirky, too."
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"This is all Larry's idea. He came to my office and pitched it..."
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"- All right. - You know, the thing that's hard..."
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"about having been on a successful show..."
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"Okay, so for instance..."
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"recently, I was skiing with my family in Jackson Hole."
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"He getting more than just a massage."
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"Larry, isn't that a good example..."
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"I've kind of gotta take off, I'll see you soon."
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"- Thank you. - Nice to see you."
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"That you're having an affair."
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"I know about it, she told me about it."
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"She said that you're having an affair with a woman with long, red hair..."
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"I have not touched another woman, that's ridiculous."
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"- You don't think so? - No."
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"She's American."
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"No, it's not true. I'm not having an affair. I have never touched another woman."
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"Never ever..."
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"If you were having an affair, you'd probably lie about it, wouldn't you?"
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"- I won't know how, what would I do? - I don't know, you won't be good at it."
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"It took me six months to even put a move on you."
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"She didn't say anything about my health, right?"
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"- No. - Come on."
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"- Thank you. You guys enjoy your meal. - Great, we're going to."
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"Okay, thank you."
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"Look at the size, why'd you get a stretch limo? It's gigantic."
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"- What is this? - A little bit of a line."
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"Good."
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"- Right this way. - Thank you."
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"- This is lovely. - Did you hear this guy?"
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"He's been completely snubbing me."
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"You gotta stop and talk to people like there's so much information to exchange."
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""Okay, take it easy.""
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"Are you gonna get an appetizer or are you going straight to the main dish?"
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"What'll we do about that driver, let him sit in the car for the next couple of hours?"
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"- I feel like I have to hurry, you know? - Didn't you used to drive a limo?"
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"- Did you do waiting? You had to wait. - Yeah, I know, and I hated it."
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"Yes, I am gonna finish that, thank you."
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"No, I'm gonna give it to the limo driver."
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"There's shrimp and..."
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"How am I supposed to eat? There's no fork, there's no napkin."
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"We should've got the guy a dinner."
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"I'll be right back, okay? I'll be right back."
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"Larry, how's it going?"
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"- A pen. - I was thinking of the other pocket."
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"We're having dessert. I'll give him two minutes, and get back the fork."
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"Okay, I know what this is about."
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"You know what, I'm not good at artificial small talk."
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"You'll be appearing at the West Los Angeles municipal court."
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"- Judge Katz. - That's a lovely building."
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"Oh, God, the driver. Shit, I completely forgot."
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"I had the fork, and the guy caught me taking the fork out of the restaurant..."
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"and he called the police."
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"- That was great, thank you. - You're welcome."
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"Excuse me."
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"Do you have a tattoo of a star?"
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"Larry?"
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"This case is here for sentencing."
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"Yes, Judge Katz. And may I say, "Shabbat shalom.""
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"and he had dinner, but he did not have a fork to eat it..."
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"so he wouldn't have to eat with his hands and get it all over his face and his clothing."
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"that the restaurateur had toward me because I ran into him on the street..."
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"You know, I don't like to make little chit-chat on the street."
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"It's touching what you tell me. It seems to me there was an indication..."
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"You know, Mr. David, I've been thinking about this."
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"I'm gonna give you a sentence that will guarantee..."
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"Hi, Larry."
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"How's the shrimp, Al?"
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"Evening."
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"Here's a good question for Who Wants To Be A Millionaire:"
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"But I'm not gonna..."
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"so he wouldn't have to eat with his hands..."
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"Okay, here's the thing."
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"I just don't want to do this show. I just don't want to do it anymore."
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"I've lost enthusiasm for it."
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