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Clips from What We Do in the Shadows (2019) - The Trial (S01E01)

"Hey, he is half vampire."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"His opinion still counts."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"-Yeah, well, I'm only listening to half his opinion. -(hisses)"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"-DANNY: Look at him in the sunlight. -VLADISLAV: Showing off."
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"-Can you hear me? -Wesley, can you hear us?"
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"-Hey, can you hear me? -VLADISLAV: There's a lag."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"The Skype seems glitchy."
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"a little microphone, it's got a-got a ring around it."
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"I can hear you. Dark greetings."
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"Okay. Great."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"we also have a local vampire here"
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"on the council this evening, Colin Robinson."
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"Hello."
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"What the fuck are you doing here?"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Okay, now..."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"So why are we gathered on "Statee" Island?"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Because one of our brothers has passed from this world."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Baron Afanas, also known as The Undying One."
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"Well, he died. That's why we're here."
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"Where the hell did she come from?"
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"This is Baron Afanas' familiar."
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"Witness number one, speak."
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"(whispers): It's okay. She doesn't speak."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"On the eve of the death of my master..."
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"(whispers): Well, she's speaking now."
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"...these three vampires"
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"-took Baron Afanas... -(whispers): She's speaking."
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"...and they let him partake of human food."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"I overheard them plotting to murder him."
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"(vampires gasping, hissing)"
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"She speaks the bullshit."
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"We simply floated the idea."
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"You floated the idea of murdering him?"
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"-LASZLO: Yes. -Not floated, you plotted."
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"-we're past that now. -Wesley, catch up, we're past that."
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"-Remove the witness. -VIAGO: Yeah. -Thanks a lot."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"-Bye, bitch. -WESLEY: Human food? Like-like-like"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"You need better Wi-Fi."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Move the computer next to your router, homes."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"Hey, hey, hey. It's not my Wi-Fi."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"I got the best Wi-Fi. Okay?"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"I heard about one familiar who was made into a vampire,"
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"and now he has a big castle and he is really successful..."
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"My master says I'm gonna be a vampire in a few days."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"It's only been seven decades."
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"So, have any of you"
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"met a familiar who's become a vampire?"
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"Not personally,"
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"never met one."
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"Did anyone really like The Baron, anyway?"
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"-Well, I... no, I didn't like him. He was creepy. -I mean, I didn't..."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"-He was a bit of an asshole. -Loco."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"He was a psychotic madman."
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"he was crazy, but rules are rules."
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"-VIAGO: Now what? -Bring in the other witness."
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"-VIAGO: Now let us call the next witness. -LASZLO: What other witness?"
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"-PAUL: Another witness. -VIAGO: Witness number whatever-it-is."
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"VIAGO: Who's this delicious-looking thing?"
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"What is this? Is this-is this lunch?"
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"-NADJA: Yes, it's lunch. -No, it's not lunch."
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"It's lunch."
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"GUIDE: This is one of their familiars, council."
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"He bears witness."
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"murder The Baron?"
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"They discussed it, but they-they were just talking."
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"They weren't going to really do it."
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"They... It was I. I-I killed him."
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
"-You did it? -Yes."
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"Okay. Unlikely."
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"Don't take offense, but you don't seem like someone"
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"-to protect your master. -VIAGO: Of course he is."
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"This little guy couldn't kill a vampire."
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"No, it was, it was me. I opened the door and it was dawn"
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"and then the sun came in and..."
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"(stammers) and then it happened."
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"That sounds very made-up."
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"VIAGO: I mean, I don't know, guys."
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"None of us really liked The Baron,"
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"and then let the other three go."
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"Send his soul to hell."
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"-a cheeky little snack? -Sneaky snack?"
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"-(vampires hissing) -VLADISLAV: What do you think, Wesley?"
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"Who is this motherfucker now? This glasses motherfucker?"
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"PAUL: It's lunch, Wesley."
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"-Lunch. -Oh, yeah. -No!"
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"-(exhales): Oh. -Get to the point."
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"-Have you got a point to make? -Listen to me."
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"-We're all listening. -You got... Everyone's listening."
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"we were all about to chomp down on this guy,"
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"-Speak. -It was we..."
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"-We-we... -We were all discussing that."
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"TILDA: You have committed"
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"Raise your fangs, all who agree."
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"(vampires hissing)"
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"The punishment is"
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"that their victim was:"
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"Fuck can I do?"
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"-How could... -Ludwig, get him."
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"Watch the hands, Mr. Hands!"
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"Fucking hell!"
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"-Ooh. -Is it welded on there, or...?"
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"What is that? Uh... Hey!"
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"It's, like, welded on there or something."
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"This is the thing where we wa... Okay,"
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"I broke this, turned right, and then we turned left to the..."
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"-(roars) -(screams)"
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"-Stay back! -(screams)"
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"So, they're being sent into a well, and, uh,"
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"the sun's going to slowly come up,"
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"-and then they'll burn to death. -It's a very horrible way to die."
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"-Very dramatic way to die. -(chuckles): Yes."
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"*"
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"(birds chirping)"
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"(Laszlo, Nandor, and Nadja screaming)"
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"That's so macabre."
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"(yelping, panting)"
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"(screaming)"
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"I wish I had made more of my leadership skills."
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"I could have ruled many more countries"
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"-instead of dying in a well with two perverts. -(mouths)"
What We Do in the Shadows (2019)
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