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Clips from Master of None - Amarsi Un Po (S02E02)

"Oh, miniatures."
Master of None
"Aw, oh, I love miniatures."
Master of None
"Little, tiny Vaseline."
Master of None
"This is so cute."
Master of None
"I should take one as a gift for my friend Lucrezzia."
Master of None
"Mm, you're right."
Master of None
"I'm gonna take two."
Master of None
"Oh, crème brûlée flavor."
Master of None
"That means that when you kiss someone, you're gonna taste crème brûlée."
Master of None
"I just want to live here."
Master of None
"Can we stay here forever?"
Master of None
"It'd be an odd New York itinerary."
Master of None
"Oh, look how many medicine you have over here."
Master of None
"I mean, that's my paradise."
Master of None
"Look."
Master of None
"Look how many diarrhea medicines you can have in America."
Master of None
"You can have the green one"
Master of None
"or the pink one."
Master of None
"What's that?"
Master of None
"Chocolate diarrhea medicine?"
Master of None
"Means that you can eat chocolate and you're gonna stop having diarrhea?"
Master of None
"Dev..."
Master of None
"this is an amazing time to be alive."
Master of None
"Especially if you're having issues with your bowel movements."
Master of None
"Can I eat this chocolate even if I don't have diarrhea?"
Master of None
"Well, I told you I love pharmacies."
Master of None
"What you doing now? You want to get a bite to eat?"
Master of None
"No, I can't. I have to see Pino now."
Master of None
"Oh."
Master of None
"But he's going to Boston on Thursday night."
Master of None
"Uh, sure. What do you want to eat?"
Master of None
"Italian food."
Master of None
"- Ugh, you're so Italian sometimes. - I know."
Master of None
"Do you like tapas?"
Master of None
"Uh, I like eating tapas."
Master of None
"- Tapas night! - Tapas night!"
Master of None
"There's two of us. How long do you think the wait'll be?"
Master of None
"It's gonna be about an hour."
Master of None
"so you may not even make it."
Master of None
"I'm so sorry."
Master of None
"I gotta have my tapas. I just gotta."
Master of None
"Me too."
Master of None
"I don't know. Should we wait?"
Master of None
"Uh, should we just go to the people and say,"
Master of None
""Come on, eat faster, faster"?"
Master of None
"That's a good idea. Hold on."
Master of None
"Finish your food!"
Master of None
"Sorry. Just joking."
Master of None
"- Sorry. - Take your time."
Master of None
"All right, I think we'll make it."
Master of None
"I have faith. I know we will."
Master of None
"What about that couple over there?"
Master of None
"Uh, I think they're ordering more."
Master of None
"Also, this Asian couple is ahead of us."
Master of None
"It's 9:45. We're never gonna make it."
Master of None
"Whoa, come on. You can't talk like that."
Master of None
"You got to have faith. We're gonna be fine."
Master of None
"Look at these guys. They're losing faith. They're about to leave."
Master of None
"- No. - Look at them. I can tell."
Master of None
"They're sitting there like, "Oh, I can't believe we waited this long for tapas."
Master of None
"I didn't even want tapas.""
Master of None
""What are you talking about? You're the one that suggested tapas.""
Master of None
""No, I suggested Thai food.""
Master of None
""Oh, I can't believe this. I should have never married you."
Master of None
"I should have listened to my father.""
Master of None
"See? They're leaving."
Master of None
"They're leaving. They're leaving. They're leaving."
Master of None
"They're leaving."
Master of None
"Cheers, tap."
Master of None
"And drink."
Master of None
"What happens if you don't tap?"
Master of None
"If you don't tap and don't look in the eyes,"
Master of None
"it's, like, seven years of bad sex."
Master of None
"Oh, no."
Master of None
"- You don't want that, right? - No."
Master of None
"What happens if you do this?"
Master of None
"Cheers..."
Master of None
"That's solo sex."
Master of None
"Seven years of fantastic masturbation."
Master of None
"Okay, basta, it's enough for you."
Master of None
"Don't drink anymore."
Master of None
"You're drunk."
Master of None
"- Yes, I am. - Mm-hmm."
Master of None
"You were right."
Master of None
"What else should I try while I'm in New York?"
Master of None
"Mm..."
Master of None
"Indian food?"
Master of None
"Mm, I don't really like curry."
Master of None
"I didn't say I don't like curry people."
Master of None
"All right, I was kidding earlier, but the phrase "curry people"..."
Master of None
"definitely racist."
Master of None
"I'm not racist."
Master of None
"You can't say "curry person.""
Master of None
"I-I'm not a curry person."
Master of None
"I'm not defined by the flavors my people enjoy."
Master of None
"Okay, I didn't say..."
Master of None
"What do you call Chinese people? Soy sauce people?"
Master of None
"No."
Master of None
"I don't call them like this."
Master of None
"Oh. Well..."
Master of None
"even though you are a little racist..."
Master of None
"I'm glad you're here."
Master of None
"Yes, it is. I missed it."
Master of None
"Let's play a game."
Master of None
"Uh, what do you mean?"
Master of None
"like this, like this, like this."
Master of None
"I can't believe you fucked him on the Ping-Pong table!"
Master of None
"- Where are we supposed to go? - Uh, anywhere else!"
Master of None
"Oh, really? So next time, I will do that! Thanks!"
Master of None
"All right, you do one. You start one."
Master of None
"No, I did not do that."
Master of None
"Yes, you did! I saw the video."
Master of None
"- No. That's too far. - Poor dog!"
Master of None
"- Shit, I think that is him. - You can't do that."
Master of None
"Hey, yo! Clash of the Cupcakes rules, baby!"
Master of None
"- Can we get a pic? - Uh, no, I'm sorry!"
Master of None
"Those guys think I blew a dog."
Master of None
"I think they know we're here."
Master of None
"I think so, too."
Master of None
"Hold on. Let's see if they're coming."
Master of None
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