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Clips from The Golden Girls - The Truth Will Out (S01E01)

"Here we are! This is home! Oh, Charley, Kirsten..."
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"I want you to meet my friends Blanche and Dorothy."
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"Hello, Kirsten! Hiya, Charley!"
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"Rose has told us so much about both of you!"
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"I'm just so glad you finally got to Miami!"
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"When Mom told me she needed me to review the estate papers,"
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"I figured it was a perfect excuse to come for a visit."
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"It's just a will, Kirsten. I wouldn't call it estate papers."
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"And while we're down here, I'm gonna go to astronaut camp."
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"Astronaut camp? There's a camp for astronauts? Is it close by?"
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"Down, Blanche."
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"It's a special program for young people."
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"Isn't that something? My granddaughter wants to be an astronaut!"
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"Not really, Grandma. I just want to meet boys who want to be astronauts."
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"Me too!"
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"Do you wanna give Blanche and Dorothy the presents we brought for them?"
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"- Sure, Mom. - Oh, you didn't have to do that."
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"Hope you like it. It's very popular in Minnesota."
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"It's a maple syrup, honey, brown sugar, molasses, Rice Krispie log!"
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"One for each of you."
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"How sweet. How incredibly sweet."
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"- Can you get those, honey? - Sure, Mom."
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"- Thank you for inviting us to stay with you. - Oh, thank you for these lovely gifts!"
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"- What are you gonna do with yours? - It's a log. I'm going to burn it."
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"- Mom, dinner was delicious. - Oh, it certainly was."
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"You must have spent all day in that kitchen."
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"Oh, no. It's a simple recipe. You just take some mashed potatoes"
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"and mixed vegetables and ground lamb and throw them all together."
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"Where we come from, it's called Shepherd's Pie."
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"Where I come from, it's called garbage."
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"Ma, please. Rose, dinner was wonderful, it truly was!"
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"Thanks. It was my husband's favorite."
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"Charley used to ask for it at least once a week."
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"You know, I don't believe George ever requested anything special from me."
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"At least not in the kitchen. No, that's not entirely true."
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"Once on our anniversary... or was it on payday?"
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"Anyway, I remember a butcher block table was involved..."
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"Blanche."
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"Oh."
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"- Great. Anybody ready for dessert? - I am, Grandma."
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"Oh, good. I'll slice into that Rice Krispie log."
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"- Let me help you, Mom. - Sure, sweetheart."
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"Honey, you didn't eat your Brussels sprouts."
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"- I don't like Brussels sprouts. - Neither do I."
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"Put them in here with mine."
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"- Mom, your friends are lovely. - Oh, they're two very special people."
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"When you first told me you were moving in with some other ladies,"
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"I thought, why would anyone who could afford to be totally independent"
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"want to live with someone else?"
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"Kirsten, I think there's something I should explain."
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"You don't have to, Mom. I understand perfectly."
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"Meeting Blanche and Dorothy explains everything."
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"I want you to take a look at my will."
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"Mom, you keep your will in the cookie jar?"
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"your father was in the cookie jar."
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"This way, he still is."
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"I think I'd better warn you,"
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"I know how much you liked my sapphire necklace,"
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"but I thought you'd get more use out of the pearl earrings."
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"Mom, these numbers don't make sense. They can't be right."
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"They're right, Kirsten. I had them checked with a lawyer and an accountant."
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"- But there's nothing here. - Of course there is."
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"I mean, there's nothing close to what should be here."
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"Daddy was one of the most successful insurance salesmen in his company."
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"You couldn't possibly have gone through everything."
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"We just came to help. No, actually you were gone so long,"
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"we were afraid you two were making another log."
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"In 15 years, you managed to piddle away the fortune it took Daddy a lifetime to build?"
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"- Kirsten, it's not that simple. - Just tell me how it happened."
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"How could you go through everything Daddy earned?"
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"I don't know. Bad investments. I guess I got a little greedy."
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"You know, get-rich-quick schemes."
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"- I don't believe it. - Well, me neither."
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"Rose Nylund isn't the kind to squander her money on bad investments."
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"It's true! I did it."
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"I guess you two don't know me as well as you think you do."
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""Please join us when we return to the air at 6 a.m."
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""We now conclude our broadcast day with the Blue Angels Squadron"
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"At ease, Rose. Come on, honey, why don't you get some sleep?"
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"I can't."
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"- Do you want to talk about it? - I can't do that either."
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"that everything's gonna be fine between you and your daughter."
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"You should never lie to anyone."
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"OK, it was only three minutes, but still! I stood there like a fool."
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"Even if lying seems like a good idea at the time."
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"Oh, Rose. What are you talking about? Is this about Kirsten?"
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"Oh, Kirsten wouldn't lie. I raised her better than that."
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"Except for a little white lie, but that doesn't really count."
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"Oh, yes, it does! A lie is a lie, which is a sin,"
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"which sends you straight to hell!"
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"- Who told a lie? - Oh, who hasn't?"
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"Ma, how much did you lose at the dog track last week?"
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"None of your business, and that's the truth."
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"What's the biggest lie you've ever told?"
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"I once told my sister Charmaine that she was left on our doorstep by gypsies."
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"What?"
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"Blanche, why would you want to do a thing like that?"
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"She annoyed me."
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"Always mouthing off about how her hair was curlier than mine,"
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"her complexion was prettier than mine."
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"I finally said there was good reason for it - she was left by gypsies!"
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"I had her completely convinced!"
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"What did she say when you told her the truth?"
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"Oh, I never did."
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"I even tried to help her find her little old gypsy mama."
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"Well, I lied to Stan."
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"I used to tell him how great he was in bed."
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"It was really very difficult, but fortunately, I only had to tell him on his birthday."
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"So you see? Everybody bends the truth now and then. It's not a crime."
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"But I lied to Kirsten. Now she hates me for it!"
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"- Then tell her the truth! - I can't!"
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"If I tell her the truth about the money, then she'll find out the truth about her father!"
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"I can't let that happen. I just can't."
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"Ooh. My God!"
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"It's worse than I thought! Why, this is more baffling than the Paxton Osgood case!"
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"First, Rose had to lie about the money,"
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"and now she's hiding some deep, dark secret about Charley!"
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"Well, Blanche, whatever it is, it is none of our business."
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"Come on, Ma. Let's go to bed."
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"No, of course it's our business! We're friends, we're roommates!"
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