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Clips from M*A*S*H - Ceasefire (S01E01)

"— [Hot Lips] Fifty—fifty? — Yea/1."
M*A*S*H
"Maybe we should get an unlisted number, huh?"
M*A*S*H
"Forms to get the forms that enable us to order more forms, sir."
M*A*S*H
"Here you go, Henry."
M*A*S*H
"Wait a minute. You don‘t have to sign that."
M*A*S*H
"— Room 309. — Real beds."
M*A*S*H
"— Room service! — Hot and cold running maids."
M*A*S*H
"Who said you could go?"
M*A*S*H
"Just be sure your post—op patients are all okay before you take off."
M*A*S*H
"Morning, General! Henry Blake here."
M*A*S*H
"Quiet, Pierce."
M*A*S*H
"Henry, it won‘t be official for a couple of hours yet,"
M*A*S*H
"A cease—fire? General, are you sure?"
M*A*S*H
"Look, uh——"
M*A*S*H
"No,just, uh—— Nothing, General, nothing."
M*A*S*H
"I‘m gonna get drunk for a week. Sober up, get back in shape."
M*A*S*H
"— Understood. — We will keep it very quiet, ifthat‘s what you want."
M*A*S*H
"Hey, Colonel, did you hear? There‘s a cease—fire, effective immediately!"
M*A*S*H
"We won‘t say a word, Henry. You can depend on us."
M*A*S*H
"All personnel are ordered to continue regular duties until further notice."
M*A*S*H
"Ah, Corporal Klinger. Ready for duty, | see."
M*A*S*H
"Terrific! But I‘m stuck with a dozen dresses!"
M*A*S*H
"Sweet, quiet, monotonous,"
M*A*S*H
"—Come again? — It‘s the same story in every war."
M*A*S*H
"No more meatball surgery!"
M*A*S*H
"— You really don‘t believe it‘s real? — With all my cynical heart."
M*A*S*H
"—Tell your family. The whole camp is up for grabs. —Wait a minute. Steady, Hawk."
M*A*S*H
"and your way oflife and your..."
M*A*S*H
"Don‘t press your luck, Frank."
M*A*S*H
"— Major Houlihan? It‘s me, Radar. — What do you want?"
M*A*S*H
"— Oh, I‘m busy right now. — | just thought you and Major Burns——"
M*A*S*H
"Good luck. Hawkeye.”"
M*A*S*H
"“Compliments ofa friend”?"
M*A*S*H
"[Party Horn Blows]"
M*A*S*H
"And it is fitting that we pause to offer a prayer ofthanksgiving..."
M*A*S*H
"— Amen. — [Together] Amen."
M*A*S*H
"will be prosecuted to the full extent of military law."
M*A*S*H
"Somebody might walkin."
M*A*S*H
"What could we possibly do that would surprise them?"
M*A*S*H
"—I don‘t know. — Let‘s see what we can come up with."
M*A*S*H
"Speaking ofwhich—— Hawkeye?"
M*A*S*H
"It‘s very difficult to talk with your teeth in my neck."
M*A*S*H
"Thirty seconds is my record."
M*A*S*H
"What happens, now that the war is over?"
M*A*S*H
"What happens to “us“ is what| had in mind."
M*A*S*H
"— You never exactly promised marriage. — Bless your memory."
M*A*S*H
"But you did use all the right words:"
M*A*S*H
"I‘m sure gonna miss you when I get back."
M*A*S*H
"In a few days, I‘m gonna be back home tripping over kids‘ roller skates again,"
M*A*S*H
"—Ow! [Whistles] — Did you cut yourself, sir?"
M*A*S*H
"No, sir, I mean my scrapbook. Did you get a chance to sign my scrapbook?"
M*A*S*H
"“a swell egg who made Korea something special."
M*A*S*H
"Okay?"
M*A*S*H
"Every word ofit."
M*A*S*H
"Well, you—— But I mean... not right away."
M*A*S*H
"Okay, but we‘ll, uh, leave it loose for now."
M*A*S*H
"I mean, “cess.” Cessprince."
M*A*S*H
"Frank, you‘re such a ninny."
M*A*S*H
"Margaret, please! I‘m supposed to keep my middle ear dry."
M*A*S*H
"It‘s Private Gilbert. You operated on him for shrapnel wounds."
M*A*S*H
"Give him a unit ofblood. And threaten patient every two hours."
M*A*S*H
"Captain, could I speaktoyou a minute please?"
M*A*S*H
"Hawkeye, we have to make plans."
M*A*S*H
"we‘ll both get in the dryer and take a trip to the moon."
M*A*S*H
"I‘m talking about our going—home plans."
M*A*S*H
"Lieutenant, darling, I have an affiiction..."
M*A*S*H
"—Wait a minute. Kling—— —All sales final."
M*A*S*H
"Thanks!"
M*A*S*H
"— You really believe that? — Believe it? I bet 50 bucks on it."
M*A*S*H
"— I won‘t make any trouble, Frank. —I know, darling."
M*A*S*H
"I love your thin little lips,"
M*A*S*H
"— Margaret! — Take me home with you, Frank."
M*A*S*H
"Margaret, my wife!"
M*A*S*H
"— I‘ll be your nurse. — She‘s my nurse."
M*A*S*H
"Darling, take me home with you. |won‘t make any problems."
M*A*S*H
"— | just found out you‘re married! — You don‘t mind?"
M*A*S*H
"fora land mine, lover!"
M*A*S*H
"This being a very special occasion,"
M*A*S*H
"[Cheering]"
M*A*S*H
"Captain Hawkeye Pierce."
M*A*S*H
"with a photograph or two."
M*A*S*H
"Or this one?"
M*A*S*H
"Ofcourse, like every great warrior,"
M*A*S*H
"you had your warm and human side."
M*A*S*H
"Uh, he‘sjust a fr—friend ofthe family."
M*A*S*H
"[ Cheering, Applause]"
M*A*S*H
"— “The Star—Spangled Banner.“ — How does it go?"
M*A*S*H
"And Clayton‘s got my butt in his gun sight."
M*A*S*H
"My hopefulness remains intact."
M*A*S*H
"Good foryou."
M*A*S*H
"[ Ha wke ye ] Uh, forget this stuff Get me some——"
M*A*S*H
"— Anybody know what day this is? — Thursday."
M*A*S*H
"We been here since Tuesday. Three hours‘ sleep in three days."
M*A*S*H
"What‘s the difference? It keeps us offthe streets. Gimme a clamp."
M*A*S*H
"Quit beefing! We‘ve still got a line ofcasualties. Gimmea sponge."
M*A*S*H
"All right, okay. Unhook him, and get him outta here."
M*A*S*H
"One more survivor. Have to get him next time."
M*A*S*H
"Right."
M*A*S*H
"That‘s the phone number ofthe Dai |chi Hotel in Tokyo."
M*A*S*H
"— Which is where we‘re off to. —Ti|| you need us."
M*A*S*H
"The war‘s been sending us casualties on a conveyor belt."
M*A*S*H
"Ifwe don‘t get some rest, we‘re going to start screwing up surgically."
M*A*S*H
"Well, have a good time."
M*A*S*H
"— Call us ifyou need us. — Yeah, but don‘t need us."
M*A*S*H
"Radar, two ofyour best passes."
M*A*S*H
"4077th MASH. Colonel Blake‘s office."
M*A*S*H
"— Did you heara bell? — His head‘s in another time zone."
M*A*S*H
"— Henry, everything is okay. —Yes, sir,just a minute. Sir?"
M*A*S*H
"Radar, I don‘t wanna talk to anybody."
M*A*S*H
"Just tell ‘em I‘m beat right down to my socks."
M*A*S*H
"General Clayton, Colonel Blake says he‘s really beat right down——"
M*A*S*H
"Morning, General! Henry Blake here."
M*A*S*H
"Henry, are you sitting down?"
M*A*S*H
"— No, sir! — Maybe you‘d better."
M*A*S*H
"— Yes, sir. — He giving you calisthenics over the phone?"
M*A*S*H
"but a cease—fire has been arranged."
M*A*S*H
"Cease—fire? Does that mean we can go home?"
M*A*S*H
"|don‘t care ifhe got it from NINCOMPOOP! The shooting‘s over!"
M*A*S*H
"General Clayton? This is Benjamin Franklin Pierce."
M*A*S*H
"I realize you‘re a general and I‘m just a captain, but I wanna have your baby."
M*A*S*H
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