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Clips from M*A*S*H - Showtime (S01E01)

"You‘re not leaving me alone?"
M*A*S*H
"Yes. I‘d like to be stolen by gypsies and taken to their camp in Bloomington, Illinois."
M*A*S*H
"— Close your eyes. — Radar, this is not a good day for playing games."
M*A*S*H
"Please?"
M*A*S*H
"— Well? — just a minute."
M*A*S*H
"— Oh, boy. — l’m coming"
M*A*S*H
"— Can / open my eyes yet? — Not yet."
M*A*S*H
"Hold out your hands."
M*A*S*H
"Okay. Open ‘em."
M*A*S*H
"Oh. Oh, don‘t cry."
M*A*S*H
"— Not in any kind of, uh, trouble, are you, kid? — Oh, no, sir."
M*A*S*H
"[Baby Cries]"
M*A*S*H
"He‘s a—— He‘s a beautiful boy."
M*A*S*H
"[Speaking Korean]"
M*A*S*H
"Well, I guess we‘d better get back to work."
M*A*S*H
"Yes, sir."
M*A*S*H
"[Crying]"
M*A*S*H
"Inaminute."
M*A*S*H
"JYou make me feel soyoungJ"
M*A*S*H
"JYou make me feel there are songs to be sung J"
M*A*S*H
"J Bells to be rung and a wonderful fiing to be fiung J"
M*A*S*H
"J I‘m gonna feel the way I feel todayJ"
M*A*S*H
"J ‘Cause you make me feel so J"
M*A*S*H
"JYou make me feel soJ"
M*A*S*H
"JYou make me feel so J"
M*A*S*H
"— JYoung J ' J 50 young N"
M*A*S*H
"[Cheering]"
M*A*S*H
"JJ [Band 0n RA. Playing “S tars And S tripes Fore ver”]"
M*A*S*H
"But I can see it‘s time to go, because they‘re winding up the rubber band on the airplane."
M*A*S*H
"So on behalf of the Miller Sisters, let’s hear it!"
M*A*S*H
"Charley Keller and his Claire —de —L una tics."
M*A*S*H
"And me. Yes, sirree. In person, jackie Flash,"
M*A*S*H
"saying that we 7/ be back to see you again real soon."
M*A*S*H
"So long now, and God bless ya."
M*A*S*H
"JA cottage small is all I‘m after;"
M*A*S*H
"[Laughing] Yeah."
M*A*S*H
"You‘re fine. He‘s in trouble."
M*A*S*H
"JJ ust what we‘re doin‘ J"
M*A*S*H
"Put it in my pocket."
M*A*S*H
"You fellows are always able to see the end result ofyour work."
M*A*S*H
"Trapper, you‘d better not be much longer."
M*A*S*H
"—Yes, sir, is right. — They know what causes that now."
M*A*S*H
"Are you sure?"
M*A*S*H
"It‘s going again."
M*A*S*H
"My son? My wife‘s had a boy?"
M*A*S*H
"Guy says, “Me? I‘m a naval doctor.”"
M*A*S*H
"—Yeah? —Yeah, inasmuch as no umbilical cord reaches 20,000 miles."
M*A*S*H
"Charley served in World War II. You remember World War II? Itwas in all the papers."
M*A*S*H
"It‘s not supposed to work that way, you know."
M*A*S*H
"Figures! I‘m going home. I‘m in pieces."
M*A*S*H
"Can she speak English, Radar?"
M*A*S*H
"It‘s really been both a ball, an honor and a privilege meeting with you like this."
M*A*S*H
"Let’s hear it out there."
M*A*S*H
"[Applause]"
M*A*S*H
"But first I gotta tell you about Charley the drummer."
M*A*S*H
"Uh, his mother works in the camp laundry."
M*A*S*H
"Uh, no, sir."
M*A*S*H
"But it‘s nice you could smile in Korean."
M*A*S*H
"I‘ve found it invaluable to make badjokes ever since I did my first autopsy..."
M*A*S*H
"“God cures the patients, but the doctor takes the fee.”"
M*A*S*H
"Anybody out there, or have we been captured?"
M*A*S*H
"Right here."
M*A*S*H
"You‘ve insulted me in the presence ofothers for the last time."
M*A*S*H
"— Better close him fast. — Gimme some 3—0 silk."
M*A*S*H
"I haven‘t even used the latrine in 18 hours."
M*A*S*H
"This could take a while. I hope he doesn‘t have a late date."
M*A*S*H
"| used to have a professor in med school who always said,"
M*A*S*H
"Okay. Everything‘s gonna be fine."
M*A*S*H
"The blood pressure is still low, but it‘s better."
M*A*S*H
"Wait a second."
M*A*S*H